It is not yet quite too late to enter the contest to win a copy of Maureen Johnson's new book Suite Scarlett, over on Inside A Dog. The contest is called the Insert a Zombie, Win a Prize contest, and proceeds on the basic theory that all scenes in literature would be better with a zombie in them. Maureen leads with an scene from Pride and Prejudice that I think we can all agree is an improvement on the original:
What think you of books?” said he, smiling.
“Books? Oh! No, I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings.”
“I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. We may compare our different opinions.”
“No. I cannot talk of books in a ballroom; my head is always full of something else.”
Hearing this, a nearby zombie turned, lured by the prospect of whatever was contained within Elizabeth’s head. He was within striking distance of her when the other dancers caught him up and swept him away by accident.
There is more, and I highly recommend reading it.
The rules are:
1) Keep it to one paragraph. (250 words or less. Less is better.)
2) Make sure to give the title and author, so we can know whose work is being zombified. If these are not given, the zombified work will not be considered!
3) E-mail the entry to email@example.com. Please use the subject line: ZOMBIE INSIDE! You may enter as many times as you like. (So, if you want to zombify 30 stories, you can! But they must be different ones each time.) The deadline is February 14th. You can go right up to midnight (US, east coast time).
4) All of these wonderful entries will be read by Maureen and the other celebrity judges: Meg Cabot, John Green, E. Lockhart, and Justine Larbalestier, all excellent writers and true zombie experts.
I wrote an entry just to give an example, though I am not entering the contest as I have my own ways of weaseling copies of Suite Scarlett out of Maureen, mostly by threatening Simon. I also recommend Scott's entry as well as Justine's adding of zombies to Ulysses.
I myself decided why not go for the truly bizarre, and added zombies to the To Be or Not to Be speech from Hamlet. I am sorry, William Shakespeare. But at least your work is out of copyright.
To be, or not to be: a zombie.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
Having your brains munched by a walking corpse,
Or to take arms against the ravening undead,
And by opposing end them? To die: to get right back up;
and eat your way through the employees of the local Costco;
To come eventually to the realization
That flesh is pretty tasty, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to be dined *on*;
Possibly by a neighbor: perchance even your own mom; aye, there's the rub;
For once the toxic zombie virus has taken over
And you have shuffled off to the local mall
You'd better hope those plate glass windows hold.
ETA: Zombie contest now extended into multiple rounds!
ETA #2: Holly enters the zombie contest. A win for Team Zombie!